A writer at the OC Register just published a piece with a headline that spoke directly to my soul: she still doesn't like Brussels sprouts. I respect it deeply because I've been faking my way through Brussels sprout enthusiasm for about eight years now.

Somewhere around 2015, every restaurant in America decided Brussels sprouts were the vegetable. Not just on the menu. The vegetable. Roasted with bacon. Shaved into salads. Deep-fried and drizzled with balsamic glaze. Tossed in fish sauce and honey. Every food blog, every chef, every trendy bistro with exposed brick and a cocktail program built around mezcal was pushing them hard.

And the food world wasn't wrong. Those old mushy boiled Brussels sprouts from childhood cafeterias were genuinely terrible. Whoever figured out that roasting them at high heat with oil and salt transforms them into something crispy and nutty deserves recognition. The science is real. The improved cooking methods are real.

Some of us ate those mushy cafeteria sprouts enough times as kids that the damage is permanent. You can roast them until they shatter like potato chips. You can bathe them in bacon fat. You can shave them so thin they're basically confetti on a fancy salad. My brain still goes "nope" on a level I cannot reason with.

I've tried. I want to be clear about that. I've ordered the crispy sprouts at three different restaurants that people swore would change my mind. One was at a place in Portland where the chef literally won an award for his Brussels sprout preparation. I took a bite. I chewed thoughtfully. I said "yeah, okay, these are good" with a completely neutral face.

They were fine. Just fine. My taste buds did not experience a revelation.

What I love about the OC Register piece is the unapologetic energy of it. The food world has spent years telling us that if we just try them prepared the right way, we'll come around. As if disliking Brussels sprouts is a character flaw you can fix with enough high-heat roasting. Some taste preferences are just locked in. You ate a boiled sprout in 1997 and something inside you broke and that's just how it is now.

I travel a lot and I eat almost everything put in front of me. Street food in Hanoi, fermented whatever in a tiny town about an hour out of Chiang Mai, sea squirt stuffed into peppers in Massachusetts. I will try anything once and usually enjoy it. Brussels sprouts are my hard limit and I've made peace with that.

The food trend machine moves on eventually. Kale had its moment. Cauliflower became pizza crust for a while. Sriracha was on everything. Brussels sprouts have shown remarkable staying power but nothing lasts forever. Someday a new vegetable will get the trendy treatment and we'll all pretend we always loved it.

Until then, if you're someone who still doesn't like Brussels sprouts despite everyone insisting you should, you're in good company. Pass the broccoli.