It's Friday-adjacent, which means the couch is calling. This week is actually a good one, anchored by a big horror release and the return of a Guy Ritchie crime series that a lot of people slept on the first time. MSN has the full rundown, but here's my honest version: what's actually worth your evening.

The headliner is Zach Cregger's Resident Evil. This one's been building buzz for a while, and Cregger has earned the benefit of the doubt after Barbarian, a movie that pulled the rug out so many times I stopped trying to predict anything and just held on. If you missed my piece earlier this week, it's theaters only for now, no streaming date yet, and that's fine by me. Some horror deserves a crowd. Buy the ticket, sit in the dark, let the sound system do its job.

Then there's MobLand season 2, landing September 18 on Paramount+. The first season was Ritchie doing what Ritchie does, hard men making bad decisions with great dialogue, and it snuck onto a lot of best-of lists by the end. Tom Hardy walking through a scene like he's carrying the weight of every secret in London never gets old. My one hope for season 2: it jumps straight into the story. You might remember I have no patience for a sophomore season that spends three episodes resetting the board. Give me the mess, don't re-explain the mess.

Lanterns also has a new episode this week. If you're not caught up, this is your sign. The HBO series has been a slow-burn surprise, the kind of show that trusts you to keep up, and I've heard from more than a few of you who binged the first three episodes in one night. Fair warning: it's a weekly release, so pace yourself accordingly. Or don't. I'm not your boss.

Around those three you've got the usual mid-September sprawl. New episodes of the stuff you're already watching, a few library titles rotating onto the streamers, and The Traitors gearing up for another round of celebrities lying to each other in a castle, which remains one of the purest formats on television. I don't make the rules.

My pick of the week, if you're forcing me to choose: MobLand for premiere night, Resident Evil for the weekend when you can get a good theater crowd. Horror in an empty matinee is fine. Horror with strangers gasping around you is better.

And yes, Dancing With the Stars is on my DVR too. Comfort food with sequins. Don't @ me.

What are you watching first this week? The couch waits for no one.